Hades

Last week was horrible.  Not the actual week, the week itself was fine.  It kept moving forward in time as it always has, sunrise, sunshine, sunset, night, sunrise, sunshine, sunset, night.  But the time that filled last week was horrible.  By fate I touched something that started a process that wrought havoc in my stomach.  A door knob, phone, handle of the grocery cart, I don't know, but the evil microbes that claimed war and took over my abdomen were on a mission from Hades itself.  And they won. 

It all started Saturday evening the 6th.  I was having a fine day, doing chores, spending time and having fun with loved ones, then shortly after retiring for the evening my stomach heard the first battle cry.  I didn't think anything of it, I thought, "Oh, something I ate." and went about the business of sleeping.  Sunday the 7th was fine until that afternoon.  The second war cry rang out and my blissful thoughts of innocence were shattered.  By Monday the 8th all out war had broken out. 

The rest of the week was a tug of war for my insides.  Eight vials of blood, five finger sticks, three urine tests, two doctor visits, one ultrasound (and throw in a partridge for good luck) later, it was determined that my gall bladder would be staying internal, yay!, and that the doctors had no idea what it was.  He even said, "I don't know what it is."  Which is a fantastic thing to hear from a learned professional to whom you are giving precious monies to.  His recommendation, "Eat as much as possible and hope that something sticks."  Really? $270 for you to tell me to eat?  I had been trying to eat, but any food that I took in was abruptly kicked out by the invading troops.   I believe I was speaking another language when I was dry heaving. 

So, taking the advice of a different learned person, I went home and stayed put for two and a half days.  Never venturing out beyond the walls of my home.  My couch and I became one, I think I have permanent dimples from the fabric.  I surpassed 'bored' and went to a place I like to call 'numb'.  I did stumble across a marathon of Teen Wolf on MTV.  I don't know if it was my numb stupor or what, but it wasn't that bad. 

So, here I am, the invading party having been defeated and are currently being banished from my insides.  I apologize for the delay in writing anything, the epic battle for my internal organs caused a lapse. 
I wish you all well, and may I suggest hand sanitizer for everyone who knows me.

M.L.