Hello?

I have decided that if I were in a horror movie (a real life one of course because otherwise it would be scripted) that I would either die first or be one of the last ones to die, if not survive the entire ordeal completely. 

I was watching a horror movie last night on SyFy.  Part of the 31 Days of Halloween, which I absolutely LOVE, and during the movie, the main female character was home alone doing something when she heard a door creak open.  She proceeded to stand up and as she walked toward the sound she called out “Hello?”

Who says that?  Well, clearly people do, but why?  Why would you a) announce to an intruder your location or b) assume that the intruder would answer you? 

Granted, I am the first person to go investigate a noise, hence my assumption that I might be the first to die in a horror movie.  But if I hear a noise, I freeze and listen to see if I hear it again or if it has a follow up noise, say…footsteps.  I do NOT give away my location.  Then as stealthily as possible I make my way the most indirect route possible to the said noise, picking up a weapon of some sort along the way (the dark makes even a yardstick look menacing), which may lend to my being one of the last to die if not survive all together.  Although if it is an intruder and I have a mere yardstick I am possibly going to die anyway, unless they are weaponless then I can fah-wap them into submission with it. 

My first thought, after hearing a door open or close, is that someone is in my house, someone that I did not invite.  Because, I don’t know about you, but people, including my friends and family, do not just come in my house unannounced.  First of all they could not get into my house because my doors are locked at all times, and secondly why would they just walk in, I could be in the bathroom or changing clothes or somehow indisposed.   That’s a risk I wouldn’t want to take if I were a person walking into someone else’s house unannounced…eww.   So door opening/closing, definite intruder…at least in the world of M.L.

Now, let’s think outside the box, let’s think less intruder and more paranormal…which of course was the premise of this movie.  A supernatural being, be it a ghost, specter, evil entity, vampire, werewolf, whatever you’d like, will already know exactly where you are.  Saying hello or even keeping quiet is not going to keep you from your pending doom.  The best bet there is to remove yourself from the premises as quickly as possible.  Which would cause me, once again, to be one of the first to die in a horror movie because a) I would go see what the noise was, quiet or not and b) all my doors are locked, as mentioned above, and I would have a harder time leaving the premises.  But I say this, calling out “Hello” will rarely get you a response by a supernatural being.

An actual physical supernatural being may have more difficulty getting to you, so you have a better chance at escape, albeit a slight one.  But a ghost, specter, etc. will more than likely be able to move through walls and no matter what path you take you are screwed.  Of course there are the standard deflections, spells, water, salt, you can try all of these things, but you are more likely to draw ants then propel ghosts by keeping a ring of salt around your house.  

  

Everyone knows the noises around their house; it only takes a few days to become accustom to what is “normal”.  Someone coming home from work will use a key to open the door and open the door quickly; there will be shuffling and the laying down of items on a counter or table, with the usual follow up of “I’m Home!” or “Anybody here?” or even “Hello?”.  People do not come home quietly.

There is not a slow door creaking open followed by silence then measured tiptoed footsteps across the floor with pauses every third step.  If there is, then you, my friend, live with some creepy people.

Of course if it is just someone coming home, in such a sinister fashion, I would scare the total crap out of them with my bob and weave maneuver and my handy dandy weapon of choice.  But then they would deserve it for coming in so creepily. 

So I ask…would you say “Hello?” if you heard a noise in your house?

M.L.